We started the show with Zach cutting off my wife's jam, "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley. More like a theme song than a jam...

1. We have technical difficulties, and it is Pat's fault. It is unconfirmed whether this is because he eats pinto beans on his Chipotle.

2. The Queen may have offered Kris a Watermelon-flavored Red Bull, but as she is the HR Director, we're not sure who is going to write her up. #BlackHistoryDecade

3. Dunkin' Donut Dillon Gabriel checks down and throws short, less than 7 yards on average and shorter than 70% of other QBs. He is one of the best at throwing under pressure.

4. CJ Hicks is hot ass in run stopping this year.

5. Josh Fryar is too soft for Zach's liking, and Igbinosun has been a weak spot. If Oregon hopes to win, they need to attack them both.

6. Zach thinks Ohio State's key to the game is for the Buckeyes to give Oregon the Stefon Diggs treatment.

7. Predictions:
Kris- 42 to 24 good guys. Kris is a Homer and I am fucking here for it.
Zach- Buckeyes by ten or by fifty. Likely somewhere in-between.

8. Kris loves to wash his weiner, but at what point does cleanliness give way to perversion?

9. Zach will come to your house if you cheat the score prediction. #StefonDiggsVibes

10. Austin is getting a Saturday pumpkin patch-related divorce.

11. "Jeff Greene is the Alex Orji of receivers." - Kris
The next outting has been changed to a pay per view fight between Jeff Greene and Kris. Watch Kris hurl insults while Jeff Greene drives Kris into the ground like a tent stake.

12. Kris loves and hates midget strippers simultaneously until he goes to a midget strip club. #SchrodingersMidgetStrippers

13. Gemo and Elks fought and it made us all uncomfortable. You could say they really Stefon Diggs eachother...

Zach scolded those who didn't come because of work... I'm sitting at the bar in Dublin and technically working today, so here is to hoping no one has a heart attack in Kentucky while I'm gone!

Another CliffsNotes, abridged rundown of the show from today.

1. Zach Smith fucks with a lot of things, but he doesn't fuck with the following:
- Beans on Chipotle.
- Natural Disasters.
Do with this information what you must.

2. The Queen is paying these assholes too much because they can all afford double meat at Chipotle... Kris is getting a tortilla shell on the side like money grows on trees all of a sudden.

3. Elks is alive and well, and so is his significant other. Also, Elks has a girlfriend.

4. While Elks is alive, we can only assume that there has been catastrophic damage to Michigan from the hurricanes, as no one has heard from those assholes for weeks!

5. Zach and Jason Kelce share two things, potent swimmers and a lack of concern for other men staring at their manhood.

6. Stefon "Struggle Snuggle" Diggs is taking some licks and keeps coming...
I mean like in the media.
Fuck, you guys are dark.

7. At about 55:00 runtime in the show, Zach goes all Rainman and calculates how a three-way tie in the B1G would go. This may lead to Indiana, Oregon, or PSU having to go to Indianapolis at their own peril.

There are unconfirmed reports that Stefon Diggs showed up at the studio after the guys talked about a bunch of football players being in an uncomfortable and unwanted position.

8. #DuckTearsAndShowerBeers

See you at the live show, degenerates!

Save me a damn seat!

CliffsNotes from yesterday's show.

A good show as always, boys!

1. Connor Stallions is a psychopath.

2. Oregon is pumping sound into the Autzen Pringle Chip.

3. Bill Clinton > Bill Levis > Bill Cosby. The first two had consensual relations.

4. #KrisThinksKidsAreEasyToDraw.

5. Nothing grows on Kris Drew quite like a tumor. #KrisLovesCancer

6. Kris shared a Lifetime Movie plot in which a veteran stomped his ass in basketball daily while possibly drunk, paid him for it, then almost set up a death match with a skunk in a garage. #KrisVsSkunk #BetterGroomingThanManscaped

A good show, glad I could help. See you tomorrow Menace Army! Save me a damn seat, I'm driving 3+ hours!

Everytime I hear Pat read off “hahaha” from a super chat all I hear is this.

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